04 December 2018
it's the morning after a night when baby needed me skin to skin, heart to heart, inside every hour. we have had more of these than not lately, and i am sleepy, of course i am, but i am happy. i am so happy. it is all so unbelievable to me: that i can be what he needs, that my body can nourish his, that my nearness is the sun in his sky. i thank god for sleepless nights. i remember (i could not forget, i would not want to) when i spent other, long ago now, nights sleepless and tangled in thoughts that ached: that such nights and mornings as these might never be mine. and yet. here they are. here they are. and my stream of consciousness, my kite string of heartbeats, my tides of breaths, all move to the same pulse: thank you and thank you and thank you.